Tooth or Scare/Transcript
opens up with Fanboy and Chum Chum running down a sidewalk to Kyle's house (Song: Kyle's House) Fanboy: Kyle's house, Kyle's house. Fanboy and Chum Chum: We're going to Kyle's house. And when we get to Kyle's house, we'll finally be at Kyle's house! Fanboy: Hey, isn't this Kyle's house? Kyle's house. The boys smile at each other, link arms and run inside Fanboy and Chum Chum: Kyle's house, Kyle's house, we're finally at Kyle's house! eyes of the gargoyle on the railing flash red. Cut to Kyle's living room. Kyle is reading a comic book Kyle: laughing Wha -? up to see his crystal ball flashing Ugh, what now? goes over to the crystal ball to see what's wrong. He sees Fanboy and Chum Chum, running amok his dining room Fanboy and Chum Chum: Kyle's house, Kyle's house, we're frolicing at Kyle's house! Kyle's house, Kyle's house! Kyle's house, Kyle's house! Kyle: over Oh, no. Not Fanboy and Chum Chum! Ah well, they'll never get past the moat. fall into the moat. Kyle stares, and they come out of the moat and spit water at him through the crystal ball Fanboy and Chum Chum: We're as wet as we can get, here inside of Kyle's house! Kyle's house, Kyle's house, deep inside of Kyle's house! Kyle: over Oh, fiddlebottom! Well, they'll never get past the dragon. get burnt by the dragon's flame, but are unharmed Fanboy: We're fully dry... Chum Chum: And lightly fried! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Deep inside of Kyle's house! Kyle: Grr! Well then, maybe I'll just... eyes RELEASE THE KRACKEN! a microphone and talks into it Uh, yes, um, can we release the kracken please? voice Thank you so much. Fanboy and Chum Chum: Kyle's house, Kyle's... grabs them ahh! Kyle: Philip will enjoy digesting them over a thousand years, maybe I'll see if he wants some catsup. is a burp. Suddenly, F&C crash the door down on top of Kyle Fanboy: It sure was nice of Kyle's kracken to burp us up to the door. Chum Chum: Hey, where's Kyle? Kyle: Under here! his mouth through the mail slot Get this off of me at once! put the door back up, but are scared when Kyle materializes before them Kyle: lispy You simple-minded thugs! his wand in Fanboy's face Prepare to be fed to the serpent! Dessicate! a moment, F&C are scared. Then, they blow raspberries and start cracking up Kyle: What's so side-splitting? Chum Chum: Kyle, your mouth. point it out, he presses in Kyle's front left tooth, which came loose from the door crashing on him It has a doggy door. Kyle: Wha-? tooth Oh no, my tooth is loose! I mustn't let it fall -- tooth falls out of his mouth and onto the floor Out. up tooth Oh, no! Now, the Wizard Tooth Fairy will come! This is a disaster of epic proportions! he says this, he whistles when he says something with S. This continues until his adult tooth grows in later on Chum Chum: Why are you so freaked out, Kyle? Fanboy: Yeah! I bet the Wizard Tooth Fairy leaves magic money that turns into candy so you can rot your teeth out and get more magical money-candy! That's it, right? Am I wrong? Kyle: It's not what the Wizard Tooth Fairy leaves...it's what he takes! scene behind Kyle changes to Wizard World as he tells his story Kyle: Forged in a pit of molten tartar... Wizard Tooth Fairy: roars Kyle: voiceover He sits on the edge of oblivion sharpening his blades, spooling his floss, waiting, waiting, waiting, until...gentle tooth falls from tender gum. young wizard in the story falls to the ground and his tooth pops out as he says this And then, he arrives! Wizard Tooth Fairy: roars Kyle: voiceover He appears and removes all your teeth one by painful one! Wizard Tooth Fairy rips out the jaw of the young wizard, then disappears Until your mouth is as empty as his soul. Fanboy: Wait, I'm confused. Does he live at the edge of oblivion or on top of Tooth Mountain? Chum Chum: Can I play with your kracken? Kyle: I must find the right incantation to keep him from coming! up a book Very well, let's see. A simple 3-step charm. page This shouldn't be hard! Alright..."Step 1: Sprinkle Anti-Fairy Dust on the floor". Very good! and sprinkles the dust Fairy, be gone! Fairy, be gone! Fairy, be gone! There. "Step 2: Knock three times". Easy enough! over to the shelf under his self portrait and knocks on it three times Fanboy: I'll get it! Kyle: No! opens the door. In walks the Wizard Tooth Fairy Fanboy: Kyle, it's for you. Wizard Tooth Fairy: Boy! Oo is missing a tooth? Chum Chum and looks in his mouth Well...'' '' Kyle: I've got to get this tooth back in! Fanboy: Hmm, I've got it! I find that gum is the only substance that can rot your teeth out and stick them back in. he says this, he pulls a wad of rotted gum off the bottom of his left shoe Kyle: Oh, how horrid. I can't! I simply can't! ignores him. He puts the gum on the tooth and sticks it in Kyle's mouth Wizard Tooth Fairy: checking Chum Chum's mouth Ah, I know there's a missing tooth up bere somewhere. Chum Chum away How bout you, puppet? Fanboy's mouth Hmm...eh, there ain't now. nervously blows a bubble through the gum on his tooth. He suddenly makes a bubble with the tooth floating inside it Wizard Tooth Fairy: What the -- me scepter's going all bingety-bonk! swallows the gum bubble Ah, looks like you're the cowlpret. shakes his head no Come on, open up. Let's see them pearly whites. Kyle: Ahh. Ahh! Wizard Tooth Fairy: Ah, all present and accounted for. Kyle: Yep! All teeth here are firmly held in place with gum. B-by gum. In gums! Ha. Wizard Tooth Fairy: Hmm. Perhaps me scepter's running a bit low on tooth juice. Mind if I take a load off while I recharge this? The old dramatic enterance left me a bit knackered. Know what I mean? Kyle: Oh! By all means! the Wizard Tooth Fairy pours a cup of tea and drinks it Fanboy: You know, I was entertaining the notion of a time share on Tooth Mountain. a cookie Tell me, what is the off-season? I would love to avoid the crowd. another cookie Wizard Tooth Fairy: You! You ain't touched your cookies. Why not? Kyle: Oh, uh...just not in a nibbling mood. on a cheesy smile Wizard Tooth Fairy: It's not because...you have a loose tooth now, it it?!? Kyle: Me? Heh, of course not. tooth hangs loose on the gum, but sucks it back up Wizard Tooth Fairy: Well then, have at it. starts to eat a cookie, but Fanboy takes it Fanboy: Oh! Does Kyle want a cookie? Come and get up! cookie, then stuffs in more Wizard Tooth Fairy: Oy! What are you doin'? Chum Chum: Oh, ooh, ooh! Kyle likes to have his deats chew his food for him, and then feed it to him like a bird. Isn't that right, Kyle? Kyle: Uh...I suppose! Chum Chum: Open wide! Kyle's mouth, and Fanboy spits the cookies in his mouth into it Kyle: Delicious. lip I for one, am stuffed to the gills. Really! Wizard Tooth Fairy: the last cookie on the plate, literally Numb, always bully, not to be rude. into Kyle's mouth. Fanboy sheilds Chum Chum's eyes, but he wants to see it Kyle is dizzy from the spit Wizard Tooth Fairy: Mind if I use the loo? Only I had some snake fangs for breakfast and the venom -- didn't quite agree with me. Kyle: Last door down the hall. Wizard Tooth Fairy exits' ' Kyle: What am I going to do? This gum is losing its stickiness! Chum Chum: Ooh! I have an idea. Maybe if you shrunk down me and Fanboy, we can go inside your mouth and find a way to reattach your tooth permanently. Kyle: If you think I'm going to let either of you inside my -- the toilet flush Fanboy: He's coming! looks at the hallway and hears footsteps, then at F&C. He growls, then, with his wand, bonks F&C on their heads respectively, making them disappear and reappear in Kyle's mouth Kyle's mouth... Fanboy and Chum Chum: Woaaaaaaah! Kyle: Do tread lightly! I have a very sensitive ga-ga-gag reflex. salute, then Kyle closes his mouth the Wizard Tooth Fairy is looking at a memory book Wizard Tooth Fairy: Now, I'm particularly proud of my design on this one. Oh, it was a bit of a checkerboard pattern. Kyle: Mmm! drills and noises in his mouth Wizard Tooth Fairy: Did you say something? Kyle: Mmm-mmm. Kyle's mouth... Fanboy: Let's go! Bring it back! Bring it back, you got room! room... Wizard Tooth Fairy: Now, this bloke, he was a wily little wizard. Would you believe he actually tried to shrink his mates and have em put his tooth back while I was in bloomin' room! drill comes out of Kyle's center tooth What's that, then? Kyle: Uh, must have swallowed a toothpick with my club sandwich! drill back in mouth... Chum Chum: a cord What's this cord for? Fanboy: I dunno. Cut it! Chum cuts the cord, but this turns Kyle's eyes off Fanboy: Oh! Power's out! Stand by! Kyle's eyes back on Power's back! room... Wizard Tooth Fairy: Hold up a tick! What's going on inside your -- ear squirts him Fanboy: voiceover Chum Chum, you hit the water main! Chum Chum: voiceover You left it on the blueprints! water stops Wizard Tooth Fairy: Perhaps I'll just have a little looksie at your teeth! Kyle Right. Let's see here...molar, canine, incisor, two-story Victorian row house, incisor. Well, everything seems to be in order. Guess I'll be on me way! to leave Kyle: It worked! It worked! He bought it! Kyle's mouth... Fanboy: Cha-ching! You hear that, Chum Chum? Only one day on the market and we already made a sale. Chum Chum: Better put up the "sold" sign. hammers a "sold" sign to the wall, but this makes the tooth house break. The Wizard Tooth Fairy turns around '' '''Wizard Tooth Fairy:' roars Hehehehe, and you thought you could pull the wool over me eyes! up tooth fragments I'll take that. laughter Now the rest of your teeth! laughter Kyle: No! Please! Not my teeth! up a pillow, and the Wizard Tooth Fairy's hand gets burnt Wizard Tooth Fairy: AAAAAAHHHH! The pillow... puff It burned me toothin' hand! around screaming Fanboy: Wow, and I though I was allergic to goose down. sneezes F&C out Chum Chum: Kyle, look! up the book from before It says here that the last step is to: "Place tooth under pillow where the tooth fairy can never reach it". Fanboy: You know, Kyle, you really should finish a spell once you start it. Kyle: Yes. the Wizard Tooth Fairy So...not a fan of pillows, are we? Well then, I summon all pillows...from bed...to bath...AND BEYOND! he says this, a load of pillows from nowhere fly into the room and he aims them at the Wizard Tooth Fairy Wizard Tooth Fairy: gasp thrusts his arms forward. The pillows charge and hit the Wizard Tooth fairy, throwing him out the window Wizard Tooth Fairy: Not that! Get away! AHHHHHHH! goes over to the tooth fragments on the floor Kyle: Huzzah! My tooth! swallows the fragments and with one quick motion, the empty spot in his mouth is replaced with a new adult tooth! Fanboy: Kyle, now that the tooth fairy's gone, we can finally break ground on my project! he says this, he shows a blueprint of houses in Kyle's mouth Kyle: them There goes the neighborhood. Category:Transcripts